We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
