that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
