dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
