Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My vagina just recognized that song.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
