Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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