I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
