I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
