My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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