you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
