I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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