Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
