Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
