I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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