bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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