I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
