so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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