i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
