some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
