I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
