All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
