i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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