I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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