lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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