now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
operation harelip BJ is a go
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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