bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
