man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
