Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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