I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
