the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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