just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
