just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
