I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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