Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
