i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
