i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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