Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
