Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
