i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
