Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
