tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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