so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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