I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
