I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
