Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
