I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
