there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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