Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
