I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
