In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
50% drunk capacity currently
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
