Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
